Good news bad news

This has been an interesting week. On the bad side, I found out one of my former students, to which I used to be very close, took his own life. Of all things it was over a girl. I don't say that to diminish how he was feeling, but because I can see from my perspective that the pain in a relationship is temporary. I don't pretend to understand where he was coming from, or how he was feeling when he made this decision, but at the funeral all of those that survived him could see what a waste of a very good life it was. Now having a baby boy, I think I understand just a little more than I would have previously, just how painful it must be for his family. My heart aches for them. I have found my self wishing for some thing I could do, or something I could give them to lessen their suffering, but there is nothing.

The service was very good. I was amazed at how much the words of the minister and some of the friends of the deceased helped me in my sense of loss. After the internment everybody seemed to be rejoicing in the memories and the good things that were left behind. On the good side I got to see many of my former students. I was thrilled to hear of their successes and failures, knowing that both are all part of they journey of youth. A lot of the students in attendance got to be friends through the engineering club I started at LHS 8 years ago. It warmed me to see how close they still were even if it had been a while since they last spoke. I was told by some that the club had ment a great deal to them.

I have spent a lot of time this week thinking back to my high school days. To the good times and experiences I had, and to all of the door ahead of me that I didn't even know I would have the chance to open. I have also spent time thinking of Rob, My friend who died when I was in school, and the doors he never had. If it can be said, I feel Rob's passing was easier. It was an accident, nothing anybody could do, just a great loss. My former student took his life, he had in front of him what was taken from Rob, and chose to give it away. I would be mad except that I know better. He must have been in a horrible place in his mind. I feel great sorrow for him.

But I did stop by Rob's grave for the first time in a long while. It's been so long it took me 20 min to find it. I stared for a while, not able to say the words that I was thinking. Finally I ask Rob to keep an eye out for a new soul in town. I actually said it out loud, which was tough. I personally don't believe in an after life. No heaven or hell as far as I can tell. I figure you get your shot and that is it. But I do hope and hope that I'm wrong. That there is some place, where we will all gather one day, with our friends and family, and laugh and tell stories and talk of the wonderful times we had. I really do home for that.

I miss my friends, Rob and Roy. I will pray, even if it's not what I believe, I will pray, just in case I am so lucky as to see them again some day.

latest brew

In answer to Geoff's question, no. But my beer will have a lot of bite. It is a English Ale recipe that when sampled at brew time was too bitter for my taste. I'm not worried, I like to try everything. If it's to bitter then it means I'll have only one at dinner and not 2. I was quite happy to get another batch underway and am happier yet to report that it is actively fermenting. I plan on bottling about 2 gallons of it in a week or so and then moving the rest to secondary fermentation and dry hopping it. I'm not sure that's what I'll do, but if I like the beer "as is" at bottling time then I'll try to the extra step. If it's already too bitter at that point then I'll save my extra hops for another occasion.

In other news is the room makeover at my folks place. I feel a little guilty encouraging them to do the project since it has not been a smooth road. I will say that grumpy has taken charge and is making the room as kid friendly and fun as possible. While not the room I would have designed, I think the kids will love it. I'm heading over early morning to help for a couple hours each day before I start work proper. I'll put up some photos when the room is done.

Last item on todays post - Glasses. I have been pissed off since the first time I saw Ryan Jenkins in a pair of Oakley's that I can't wear shades. Well it's not that I can't, but I never got any prescription shades as a kid, and as an adult I know why, the are fricken expensive. The last time I got glasses, which was around the last Christmas season, I paid, after insurance, like $350 for two pair of glasses. It was outrageous. I got one pair of regular glasses and one pair of transition lenses, which I haven't seen since the move.

Well I finally sat down one day and tried to find a better solution, I did. Online glasses ordering. While a number of sites look good I ended up using ZenniOptical I ordered 2 pair of prescription shades, different frames and different tints, and even had to pay up for a really strong prescription in one eye, and got them delivered to me in about a week for................. $45. That's it. I mean holy crap what a deal. I could have gotten 14 pair of glasses for what I paid around the holidays.

I was thinking for $45 they have to be a piece of shit. But they are very comfortable and very nice. I will never buy glasses from a shop again. Online is the way to go. So if you know someone who wears glasses, send them the link.

To Blog or not to Blog

I keep admonishing myself for not blogging when I so often say to my self "Oh, I should blog that." I suppose that bloggers guilt is common, but I hate it. I want to share just a couple tid bits for family and friends that I don't talk to as often as I should and there has never been an easier way to do it. I just have to sit my ass down and do it. I managed to write a couple of good old fashion letters the other day, long overdue ones and felt great for doing it. I hope to do more soon, and blogging is certainly no harder than that.

Topics to Blog on

- Brewed another batch of beer
- Found a very cheap way to by prescription shades
- Henry's medical update
- Grandkids room makeover
- studying for the EA Exam
- Selling the Townhouse
- Smoked meat
- vacation

I will make a very concerted effort do get at least a few of these items on line this week and keep everyone better informed.