The art of sneaking a cigar

This is a craft that I am forced to hone my skills on less I forgo the occasional smoke all together. So the other day I was bound and determined to have a cigar, but nobody else in my family was playing along. Erin and I got up early (8am, I know, not impressive, but for us it's good on a Saturday morning) and decided to run some errands. We did some hit and run shopping, and grabbed some food. When we got home Erin was really very tired. Her shift the night before had not gone well. To be honest I was tired to, but I could see my window of opportunity opening.

So... Erin fed Henry while I unloaded the car. but the time I was done she was fading fast. She decided to take a little nap with Henry on the couch. Perfect!!! Erin and Henry both occupied and I get some time to grab a smoke. But where, it was one of those rainy miserable days. the front porch was an option, I didn't want Erin to hear me going in and out of the house. Wind blowing in from the front of the house didn't held, and put the garage off the list too. Hummmm, maybe the stair well coming up from the basement. Yes, it is just barely sheltered from the rain, and Erin won't hear the door. Perfect!!! So I go get my cigar and my ash tray/lighter/cutter/beer/beer opener/portable phone/chair and ash tray table. So I get every thing situated, I have the portable phone set up to monitor the kitchen phone which I have placed by Erin in case she needs anything. So I'm out back, I've trimmed up my cigar, Lighter on , the first wisp of smoke is rising, and the baby starts to cry. Erin calls my name. Shit.

Shit, Shit, Shit.

I put down my cigar, which has not fully lit, and go up stairs. Erin say to me in a very sleepy voice, "Can you take Henry. Of course, let me just watch my hands. Off I go, wash wash, scrub scrub. And grab Henry who sill looks sleepy. I take him upstairs and get him calm and settled, and put him in his crib. He is pretty calm, not quite asleep, and sucking happily on his binky.

He looks content, grab the baby monitor and game on for the stogie.

Back down stairs, set up baby monitor... no reception out side, I can set it just inside and leave the door cracked... or that will work. Set up Erin monitor.. good. Time to enjoy. I light up and have several great puffs. Ahhh. My plan is flawless. Erin is sleeping, Baby is Sle.... crying. Shit. Shit shit shit.

I set down my cigar and head in. I have to note at this point that in having a preemie or any young baby for that fact their is a lot of worry about exposing the baby to smoke or toxins. So the rule is (and I agree with it) if you smoke, wash your hands and change shirts before handling hank. So I wash my hands head up stairs change shirts, Binky the baby, hit play on the music box and head down stairs.

The rest of the story is pretty predictable. smoke for 5 - 10 min, wash hands change shirt, sooth Henry, head back down, all while being quiet enough to not awake Erin. About 5 cycles and 3 re-lights later I wrap up a very nice cigar, and do my final round of clean up. Baby has now decided to sleep solidly, and Erin is still out.

Is a cigar really worth all the hassle... no, but catching a couple quiet min to have your thoughts to your self and ponder how luck you are to be in the life you have. Yea, that's worth it. I've found that smoking a cigar is one of the only times I'm able to do that. So I'll just have to stay crafty and make my moments when I have the chance.

 
I had the day with hank as Erin got sprung to do a little light shopping. The photo is Hank and I doing research on cell phone plans. (We figure we can save $450 per year going to tracfone) I had a great time just sitting and enjoying him. I was going to try to sneak in a cigar today but no dice. I did get in a good run though and that's probably the better option.

I'm feeling a little lost in the new house. Not that I can't find stuff, but thier is so much to do I don't know where to start. I find myself just watching movies instead. I gotta get a note pad and get a list going. I work much better with a list. First item on list, get something to make a list on. We'll see how that goes.

The Midg

This is a story I typed about 1 month ago and didn't finish. Enjoy....
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We have taken to calling Henry the Midg, which as Erin Like to point out is short for midget. (Get it, short for midget.... short.... midget... yea I know) So as National scrap book day approached, and Erin Launched into her mission to make sure the CK Message Board was having some fun, I was on Midg duty. No big deal (actually it's a little deal, get it... midg...) I've been itching for some time with the little man. It good for me, building up my parenting chops.

So I decided to take the little ma on some errands. We hit best buy, Walmart, and home depot. He always a big hit in stores. Especially if we have his shades on. Ladies can't resist the munchkin when his shades are on. The problem is keeping the hands off of him. I guess he takes after his old man that way.

So... we were at our last stop, home depot. I've got a variety of items large and small and I head to the check out. It turns out that I hit the lane with a little person in a wheel chair checking people out. He comments on the baby and I say " Yea, it's may day out with the mi...". Oh shit. I can't say midg, that's short for midget, that would be offensive. Err, think fast, Little Man - no, dwarf - no, munchkin - no, shit every thing I call Hank is some type of joke on little people.

Talk about situations that I wasn't prepared for. Baby's should come with one of those warning labels, "Warning, don't nick name your you kid a version of a little person name. It'll screw you one day." So I finally had to come up with an end of my sentence. Sweating now, I say "It's my day out with the mi... man". Hanks gotta love it, baby to man in less then 3 months. Thankfully my faux pas went completely unnoticed. He finished checking me out and gave me by receipt. I say thanks and head out. As I walk out Henry starts to fuss and the cashier says, have a good one, I hope the imp behaves for ya.

Imp... that a good one. I hadn't thought of that.